I have had some struggles here, big and small. I won't go into details but one of them was hearing Gods voice. Starting all over is hard, believe it or not. It's hard to just leave your past behind and start a new life and set a new perspective for yourself. Its hard to break old habits, but it is possible and I'm on that journey now.

Getting here, I was ready to receive, transform my life and serve but I was struggling with vulnerability. Unconsciously, I think I was just afraid to put all my walls down and accept Gods calling for my life. I spoke to a few friends about it and one was feeling the same way I did. Back at home it was somewhat easier for me to be vulnerable to God. I don't know why. Maybe it was the type of relationship I had with Him. I called myself a Christian. I went to church, God would touch my heart but I would eventually go back to my old ways. It was always a struggle for me and I knew that wasn't how it's supposed to be. I was now in denial. I wanted this transformation but I wasn't completely ready to let go of my past.

 I prayed with my friends about this one night and God gave me a word. 1 Peter 5:6-11 says, "Humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time He may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, The God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever."

My devotionals for that night were so direct. I had to choose to let go of my past and move forward if I wanted blessing in my life. I had to let go of all my worries and flickering emotions; let go of my fear and accept each day as it comes. It was time to let these walls down. God is the same yesterday, today and forever! The same God I felt back home was here with me now, I just needed to let him in and give my life over completely.  I was blown away really... I went outside and noticed the blood moon and all the stars were brighter than ever. It was a good night (:

The next morning I woke up feeling pretty refreshed. It was time for yard work again and I was ready to tackle this thing without hating my life in the process. First thing we needed was some music and good vibes so we just decided to have a little fun with it. It was the first time I actually appreciated  and had fun doing this! Crazy... I found myself thanking God for this humbling opportunity we all have here. 

That night we had worship again and crazy things happened. First, my walls totally came down, I felt this amazing peace and so did another friend who was going through the same thing. He went on stage and just shared his heart with everyone. Its crazy because everything he said was exactly how I was feeling. Everyone in the DTS program took a love language test earlier that week. It basically scored you based on how you best receive love. I scored the highest on quality time and acts of service. My friend spoke about the different ways God shows his love to us. He had mentioned that the time of worship we were having that night, was the quality time we needed with God. The wind was blowing so hard through the tin and just feeling that was the closest thing to a hug we had ever felt from Him.

One of our team members also got healing that night! My friend Jess just felt like God was calling her to do something she had never done before so she went up to another team member to pray healing over him. He had a hard time walking because of foot problems but after some prayer he was completely healed! It was pretty amazing (:

The reason I chose the word love for these last two posts is because thats all I've felt here. Gods love pouring down on me, refreshing my soul.

He has given me so many chances and I've failed so many times. It's just incredible to me that after that, He still shows his grace and love for me, even through others. He has shown me love through the homeless, through the children, through friendships, through yard work and through his creation. The list goes on and on but I see Him transforming me already and its only been three weeks!

 I went on a hike with part of the group and it was so wonderful! The journey is the hardest part but once you arrive you realize why you did it. It reminded me of the journey I'm on now. I will have struggles and it will be hard at times but it'll be worth it. God has bigger and better plans for me and He is waiting for me at the end ready to pour out all His love onto me. I've only felt a glimpse of that and the work he's done in me. I can't imagine or wait to see what else is in store for me and everyone here.

Hey readers!

It's been over a week since my last update and so much has happened! Our schedule is pretty tight during the week so it's been hard to set aside enough time to blog. Before I begin I just wanted to share what I feel was the word of the week for me. That word is Love and you'll see why in a bit.

My last update was October 1st a.k.a my birthday and that day was a little challenging for me.  As I mentioned in my last post, we are all required to do chores around the base twice a week. I spent a good chunk of it just doing yard work and I was soooooooo upset! How could I possibly spend most of my 23rd birthday outside in the heat doing yard work?! I'm usually spoiled rotten by my friends and family back home on this specific day but this day was different, I was really missing them and definitely not feeling the love! 

Anyway, I just kept thinking about it, stirring up my anger and just getting myself in a bad mood for no good reason. I laugh at myself just thinking of it because it's just so silly. It was just something I wasn't used to. That day, someone told me that yard work was therapeutic. I never thought about it that way and didn't at that moment I just got more upset! But later I realized how much yard work is really molding me. 

Later that night we had our first worship night as a team. We spent two hours just worshipping God together and it's just crazy how we all felt His prescence. We all felt his love just pouring over us, and I feel like each time, we feel it more intensely. That night I finally had a mini celebration for my birthday with my friends, and was even serenaded by a total stranger which was pretty sweet. I can definitely say it ended well. 

We have continued our evangelism and outreach and every week we visit the same places, which I love. I went to china town/hotel street again and got to spend some time with the homeless. Every time I leave that place I feel so fulfilled. Im supposed to be sharing God's love with these wonderful people but in that, they show me Gods love and grace over their lives. It really touches my heart that no matter what their, or anyones past is, God is a gracious redeemer! It's also a sweet touch when they call us Angels. That goes around the street every time we visit. 

Before we go out to evangelize, we all have intercession. Intercession is prayer and just waiting on God to speak to you. One of the girls just got a picture of Camo pants. Silly to think God is showing someone a pair of pants, but He does work in mysterious ways. She ran into a homeless man wearing these pants and asked him if he needed prayer. His response was that he had been hoping and praying for someone to ask. God answered his prayer and brought someone right over. Another crazy thing that happened that night was healing. There was a woman who could barely walk. She had a cane and had walked with a limp for some time. A girl from my team prayed healing over her and God healed the woman through her! She no longer needs a cane and her pain is completely gone. That was just incredible to me. 

I started working at Good Shepherd Preschool this week as well. Our team gets to do a skit for the kids every week, so this week we shared the story of David and Goliath. They had so much fun and absolutely loved having us there. We played, sang songs and just had fun together. Kids really bring so much joy. Working there really made me miss all my little people back at home, but it also made me feel a little closer to them. I posted a few videos below. If you have trouble playing them through your mobile phone, they can be viewed on a computer. 

These are only a few factors of why I chose the word Love for this week. I've decided to split this post in two, just because it is so long. If you want to read more about my struggles and how God is working in me stay tuned! I'll post the other half tomorrow night (:

                                                              
                                     
                                                              

Hey all!
Just a little update since my last post a couple days ago. This week we started a few new things such as lecture, work duties, community outreach and evangelism. I also found out my outreach location so that's pretty exciting! We've had Danny Lehmann for our lectures basically just teaching us about spiritual discipline and how it will help us with our missions. So far its been extremely helpful! Today we got to put it into action by going to china town, hotel street and just spreading love to the homeless community. This was my first time evangelizing and it was just an amazing experience overal. It was pouring rain which always makes things a little more intense! It was also sweet considering how extremely hot its been! But anyway, I met three new friends today: Menshi, Jian and Robert a.k.a Brother Bob. These were all beautiful, sweet people who really just wanted to be heard. It's so crazy how the world usually views the homeless as outcasts or rejects when they are just regular people who have had it a little rough in life. They all have hearts, feelings and a story behind it all. Each person happily accepted the little we gave them, which was just a bottle of water, our full attention and prayer. We even got prayer in return which was crazy to me! The homeless praying for me was definitely a new but beautiful experience. You can say my heart was full when I left that place. I'll be able to go back to china town every Tuesday to visit these wonderful people until December when we all split up to go on outreach!
Today we were given our outreach locations and had the opportunity to choose out of three: India/ Sri Lanka, Nepal and The Philippines/ Malaysia. This was a tough and huge decision for everyone so we were all a little nervous but it all worked out for the best! I NEVER EVER thought I would go to Nepal! It was never even an option for me but in that short time we had prayer and intercession I truly felt it in my heart thats where I needed to be. I quickly wrote it down and handed it in! There's no turning back now and I am so excited about this opportunity and experience !
Last but not least everyone got assigned different work duties on mondays and wednesdays from 1:30-5. Either working in the office, kitchen, house clean up or yard work. I got yard work......... YAY! A little challenging with this crazy heat and no AC but this too shall pass!!
Thank you all so much for your prayer and support! More updates coming soon! xoxo